The Healer or Warrior?

An explanation becomes the root of all destruction. Where was I when this took a turn? How can something so beneficial become something that creates destruction? All good intentions are never enough. There is tightness, the griping of self-worth at its peak keeping me from moving forward. How do you get through? – To yourself, let alone to him? I want so badly to express how I feel to be understood, so I can get free from the grip of insanity.

It was so fulfilling, as if completing the last piece of a puzzle. A remembrance of whom I used to be, an arousal of self-passion. I smiled about things, I was once blind to. A connection, some sort of completion… A true understanding of another’s soul. As with all in life, there comes a time of choice to continue or end.

I was terrified, afraid; I denied the inevitable until it become apparent. I stared love in the eyes. I worked so hard to become one with myself. I made it! I broke free! I found happiness in who I was. I could help others do the same. Life was fruitful, and adventurous. I influenced the lives around me for the better. All past mistakes, misconceptions, and demons were non-existent.

I endlessly searched to find someone who understood. I had finally found him. It was unreal. I secretly questioned it all, but it just kept fitting. It kept falling perfectly in place as I fell in love. The gushy, heat melting, tears of happiness kind of thing you see in movies. I kept it close, but far enough away it could not keep me close. I had been there a time two.  This was not some high-clouded expectation. I could be me, the me, which loved me. I was in love with me and it was contagious. I loved others with such pure, open, understanding love. I was in control of anything and everything in the world. I had the power to move mountains, to open eyes, the map of self-worth! I made to the top.

I often wondered if my purpose here was to help others. I had a gift; I just must not know how to use it. What gift could cause turmoil, right? The moment I meet someone, I can see through the person they have chosen to show others. There is an unspoken bond. As if, I am trusted with a secret.

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13 Comments

  1. It is a wonderful feeling, isn’t it, when the fog lifts and everything starts to make sense? The puzzle pieces come together. Wisdom comes forth from past mistakes and you realize the lessons had been learned. You are now able to love your life. You don’t have to please others and do what they think you should do. They don’t really care anyway. They have their own life to think about. I have a motto now that i live my life by, “If you don’t like what I’m doing, don’t watch me do it.” If I make myself happy then it will reach out and touch others. If it doesn’t, they will go skulking off and disappear. have a great day!

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  2. Destruction; its like democracy. It vvas once a beautiful ..
    Look, its like vvith anything, education hereunder. Vvhen something becomes a center of povver the old patterns take over. Controlling, fear and akin.

    Generally its all the fault of fear, so thats something to be fearful of. This though is also like a lie, since fear .. such vvould have manifested vvell had it not .. (sorry, extraction of data to comprehend and control originating from desire for production of sought “like things secreted from brain through vvriting on keyboard”).

    Its all too ugly, gotta resolve it, though vvarfare vvont vvork either.. Bountyhunting recycled and a nevv era beginning!

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  3. A thought-provoking post, Vibealittle. A life-purpose centered on helping others is commendable and highly rewarding. In addition, it’s pleasing to God (Hebrews 13:16)! As for that gift you have of seeing through pretenses, perhaps he’s going to use you to help others drop those and enjoy being who he created them to be. P.S. Thank you very much for becoming a follower of my blog, From the Inside Out. I pray you’ll find the posts meaningful when you’re able to stop by!

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  4. I lived beneath dark clouds so long I thought it was normal.
    Wore slickers and wellies and carried umbrellas.
    When the clouds cleared (perhaps no thanks to me) I could suddenly see.
    Mother Earth and this Great Cosmos had been there all along, patiently waiting.
    Now I feel as we are one. You, me, Mother Earth, the Great Cosmos, and all the other beings therein.
    I am never alone, because I have learned to listen.
    If ever there is a doubt, I pause and put a hand to my ear. I hear it.
    The Cosmos whispers gently, reassurance, “I’m right here.”

    Seek peace,

    Paz

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    1. 😲 Beautifully said! This is true. When you realize every moment is Devine strictures scenario of the universe and that dimensionally is how we understand things. Problems become small and solutions become large.

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